


Blue in Wonder

by sugarby



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Cinema AU, Crack, M/M, Multi, Other, alice in wonderland-ish, dose of kounoi, hint of Mizusei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 19:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1659521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarby/pseuds/sugarby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The alice in wonderland au where Sly, at a cinema, first-hand realises it's a long way down to nowhere and gets caught up with bizarre nobodies who are coincidentally close friends in his alternate life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue in Wonder

**Author's Note:**

> T'was the longest three days of my life and I was sick yesterday! ;_;
> 
> Everything is a warning but just let the madness begin!

Drinking a whole supreme sized order of a slushy was probably not the best decision he could have made to help tone down the explicit curses he felt like throwing at the even worse of a decision film he wasn't paying attention to on the giant screen in front--ridiculous dialogue and sappy love infested bullshit. It was a cruel way to end being comfortable in a cheap theater chair, that's for sure.

Watch. The slushy was aiming for the screen next.

Sly craned his neck back over the headrest and yawned, extending its duration in teasing exaggeration. He didn't care if he was making too much noise. Whoever had a problem with it could have at him and he would teach them a lesson about how to not hammer down on someone for being smart enough to know a shit film when they saw one. Sitting back up, one leg crossed over the other and the movement put an uncomfortable pressure on his lower area.

Bathroom. Right, where was that again?

Sly hauled himself out his seat and moved down the aisle, kicking away the few legs that were put up as they blocked his path. The people scoffed in disbelief at his rudeness and in return he gave them deathly cut eyes to say 'yeah what? Either move and pipe the fuck down or take this shit, fucking pansies'. They were all just lucky because he could've yanked his pants down and took a wazz on their sorry-ass faces.

The double doors to the seventh screening room swung open and the force sent them smacking against the wall as Sly emerged, feeling free.He crossed the main entrance and stopped at the long hall that had different coloured doors along the wall facing each other, and not one of them had any signs.

Sly clicked his tongue. "Fuck's sake, which door is it?"

What was weirder than the doors with no signs was that if he squinted enough then he was sure he could see blue fluff coming his way--Wait, the hell is a dog doing in this place!? It waggled over, its fluffy tail swishing about, and stopped right in front of his feet, tongue hanging out and eyes looking up in to his own.

"..." Sly waited for it to do something.

"Woof!" It barked, looking too happy with itself.

 _Ugh_.

"Woof!... _Aoba_ , Woof! Woof!"

"What the fuck did you just call me?" It was absurd, getting riled up because of a dog. Sly didn't know who or what 'Aoba' was but he wasn't going to insulted by something that looked too fluffy to be real and seemed too smart for it's own good. "Beat it, mutt." He nudged it aside with a foot stalked on through the hall to get away from it and go to the toilet.

Without signs there was no certain way to locate the correct door. So he would just have to check them all until he was a winner and fortunately, while he wasn't a patient man, the longer he took meant the more of the shit film he could miss rather than just walking straight out of the place because that wouldn't be any fun at all.

"H-Holy sh-!" Sly tried the first door on the left opening it and nearly falling, then gasping when he looked at the long way down to nowhere. Literally everything was just a big space with nice, light music playing in the distance like a choir of angels.

Well this couldn't lead to anywhere good.

Sly shook his head disbelief and went to step away. "Like hell! I'm not getting in to any of this-"

Unfamiliar hands shoved in to him and the floor underneath him left as he plummeted.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

The scentless air caressed Sly's ticked off face from different angles as he descended to land on something slimy, wet and large. At first, he thought he might've landed on a flying dick and that got him really excited, thinking about the possibilities that could lead to. But the idea drifted away when looked down and saw that he was on a giant slug-like thing, sitting next to someone in doctor getup and a mask who was singing.

Sly smacked the stranger's head, merciless. "Quit singing already."

"O-Ow!" The stranger moaned and rubbed his head. He may have stopped singing to tend to his injury but his whiny, childish voice wasn't any better. "B-But...! Singing is the only way Perri can fly!"

"Perri who?"

The stranger spread his arms out wide, indicating to the huge wet, slimy slug creature they were on as they soared. "Perri is my giant pet jellyfish!" Oh, so that's what this ugly piece of carp was. "Isn't she cute and just so neat!? She responds to my singing and that's how she can fly."

Sly reckoned, "Maybe _you_ dropped from the sky and hit your head."

"But Perri and I _caught you_!"

"Uh huh, thanks, Mr Nutjob."

"I'm Clear."

"And I'm done, now let me off."

"Erm...I was hoping that we could--"

" _I said_ let me off. Want me to beat the shit out of you!?"

Clear was frantic, hands up and head shaking left to right rapidly. "A-Ah, no! Please!..." He wailed.

Sly was done with this weirdo. Whether he had a legitimately good reason or not, beating the shit out of him sounded good enough and it was the only way he knew to shut his whiny voice up and get off this fucking slug! But to do that, the mask would have to come off. Fuck, it was so...Odd! Clear stubbornly held on but not for long when the fifth tug clawed it from his face. Sly felt relieved. Then he was pissed again to see another mask waiting to be picked off. He grabbed it violently and pulled, swearing to beat the shit _and more_ out of this wackjob for messing him around. When the mask came off there was an actual face; smooth and unmarked except for the two adjacent moles near the chin and pink eyes stared at him in surprise.

....Fuck, he _had_ to be attractive.

"Bastard." Sly muttered.

"Hm?..." Clear titled his head a little. "Am I still going to have the shit beaten out of me?"

"No!"

"...Why not?"

"What, you want me to!?"

Clear quickly shuffled away. "It's not like that..." He said and cast his eyes downwards, looking troubled. "You've seen my face and now you're treating me differently."

"You only have yourself to blame. Like, seriously, how was I supposed to know that under that hideous cliche horror mask was-" Sly stopped and turned and just as he predicted, Clear was watching him too intently, waiting for the positive adjective. As if! He was no gushing high school girl! "Where the heck are we anyway?"

Clear's troubled face easily turned in to delight and he had a smile that said 'I'm glad you asked!'. He leaned in close until their shoulders were rubbing and Sly overlooked that for now. "Why, we're on a magic jelly fish ride!"

"...Hah?"

Clear smiled more, if possible. "A whole new wooooorld!"

"...."

"A new fantastic poooint of vieeeeew."

Oh fucking hell, this shit is _not_ happening.

"No one to tell us no--"

"I'm saying no." Sly deadpanned.

"Or where to go."

Sly began to pummel the jellyfish with a desperate fist. "Let me off already, damn it!"

"Or say we're only dreeeeaming!"

"Clear, you've fucking lost it!"

"A whoooole new wooooorld!" Clear bellowed out and his arms spread wide. "A dazzling place I never kneeeew. But when I'm waaaaay up here it's crystal cle-Ugk!"

Sly had socked him one in the jaw, fist staying as he said, "Don't sing another fucking line. Got it?"

"Y-Yes."

"Good. Now let me off."

Clear wanted to protest again but the chilling glare he received told him that it wouldn't be wise to. He whined about it but eventually did as he was asked and sung a song that made Perri open up the part of her that Sly was sitting on and he fell through. As he hurtled down in to the space, he could still hear Clear singing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Aoba-san, can you get me some candy please?"

"Candy?" Aoba repeated, in a daze because he was so focused on the film they were all seeing together. When he felt another tug from the clingy arm linked with his, he finally turned to pay attention to the two pink eyes begging him.

"Pretty please!"

"Didn't you just eat, like, a whole bag of gummy bears and two packets of sour worms?"

"Yes. Ooh, and I would love some more of those too! And they sell rainbow licorice and sugar frosted milk swirls here as well! They're pink so they'll match my eyes."

_'Like anyone will know that when it's dark in here!'_

"Pleeeease?" Clear whined again and battered his eyelashes, cuddling up to Aoba's arm more. "I'll love Aoba-san forever and ever!" He was so incredibly cheesy but in a cute way and so adorably polite that it felt cruel to say no.

"Fine," Aoba gave in with a sigh and stood up (which Clear loudly cheered 'yay' at and then whispered apologies to the hoard of people around them who began to shush him for being so inconsiderately loud).

"Oi," Noiz called from the left of Clear. "Get me some rhyme bars."

Aoba frowned. "Get them yourself brat."

"You're already standing though."

"Well you could at least have manners when you ask, geez." He told him in a whisper, careful not to let his annoyance show in a raise of volume. The last thing he needed was to get thrown out because the film was actually pretty interesting.

"Get me some rhyme bars, _thanks_."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Bite my dick."

Aoba really wanted to hit this kid. Oh, how many medals he should be given for having so much restraint (and not because he was afraid of getting popcorn chucked at his head as a way to shut him up. He shuddering just thinking about how it would be a nuisance to pick popcorn out of his hair for the rest of the night). A quick candy run was all he had to do, nothing more, so he rejected the expecting brat, "Nah, I don't think they have that here. Sorry."

 

 

 

 

 

  
"An AiCatch soda, coil gummy band and four doughnuts."

Akushima, supervisor in charge and manning the candy stall for a while, looked none too happy because he knew this punk and the tricks he loved to play. Oh yeah did he fucking know them all. He didn't trust him, not one little bit. "You got money to pay for all that?" He asked, expecting a certain answer in mind.

"Yeah, 'course."

"Good. Then go fucking buy yourself manners first, trash punk!"

Sly laughed. "And give up pissing you off at your shit job? No way, I'm living the dream."

"SHUUUUT UP AND HAAAAAAND THE MONEY OVER, NOOOOW!" Well fucking hell, even in the cinema he didn't hold back on being the loudest whiny bitch on the planet. Presuming the speakers inside the twenty theater rooms didn't deafen people then this psycho who probably had wet dreams about being a cop would.

Sly slapped a colourful, paper note on to the counter. "There."

Akushima wasn't buying it.

"What? Monopoly money's good too, yeah?" Sly tapped the fake money, encouragingly, grinning dirtily. "C'mon. A poor sap stuck in a shitty job should be thankful and take whatever tip he can get." 

"!!!"

Sly chortled and sought out what he wanted, jumping behind the counter and in lightning speed grabbing everything; the chilled refreshing soda, the coil modeled string of candies and a pack of four doughnuts.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Akushima screeched, looking like murder was on the top of his Christmas list as he tried to grab the shameless thief by the hood of his jacket. Sly ducked and twirled around him in time and he was chuffed that he hadn't dropped a thing from his arms. He laughed again as Akushima had to steady himself from running head first in to the drinks dispenser machine, looking as fucked as anything.

"Later, Akushima."

"HOLD IT RIGHT THEEERREEEEE! THE MONEY, PUNK! WHEEEERREEEE IS IT!?"

"I got something better." Sly cupped his crotch and jutted out his hips. And just like that, he coolly walked away, tapping his back pocket and feeling that he was still a couple dollars rich. He self-praised muttering 'good one, Sly, you motherfuckin' swagster' and headed over back to the hallway with the colourful doors. If he found the bathroom this time then good. He needed a place to chill out until Akushima was fucking calm.

Second door on the left-Green. Arms full, Sly backed in to the door to open it.

The goods dropped as he fell in to nothing again.

"MOTHERFU-!"

 

 

 

 

A foreign-looking fancy mansion expected to be heard of in fairytales and high class areas of the world or like a Playboy mansion owned a very large garden. It was so unbelievably huge that Sly thought he had landed in a forest. There were overgrown, lush trees and beautifully bloomed flowers and everything was green in the yard that seemed as though it was made for kings and queens to dine in an eternal spring. At least, that was how things were from Sly's perspective as he looked on passed the paved pathway in front of him that lead to a long table with food (pizza, pasta, crepes and takoyaki) filling up each and every space on top of the tablecloth in-between the expensive knives, forks and many multi-purpose spoons. 

Sly went to stand up until a pair of bunny ears were casually fitted on to his head. "....OI!" He didn't give a damn if he was being loud and disturbing the gentle essence of the fairy tale paradise here--Wherever 'here' fucking was. He already was the outcast, the unfitting piece dressed in a Letterman jacket, dark jeans, casual converses with muddy signs of mistreatment and large headphones swung around his neck.

Whoever put these goddamn bunny ears on him was going to fucking get it.

"Are you the guy?"

"Huh? What guy!?" Sly mumbled as he turned to a new face. Just where the heck had he landed now for some rich snob to be dressed like this; in a black suit with the blazer tails long enough that they could easily graze the grass and a tall top hat perched on his messily cut blond hair with a green bow on the side to match the eyes that were dim with boredom.

"...You don't remember?" The guy questioned. "Or are you just pretending?"

"Look, Alfred," Sly began, convinced that he was dressed a lot like a butler. "I don't know what you're talking about but just take these goddamn ears off me."

"My name is Noiz." He said, squatting down to lift the bunny ears headband off the azure hair. Holding it in his hands, he stared at it from different angles, turning it under the light of the sunshine seeping through between the swaying tree leaves. He compared its existence with Sly's presence. "Hm, I thought you might be him."

"Who?"

"My rabbit." Noiz walked away and sat down at the table, and the bunny ears lay beside his cutlery with a disappointed release. He picked up one of the different sized forks (to which Sly Blue tells himself _'rich people are so rich all that cash confuses them, pft!'_ ) and cut in to a slice of pizza with diligent chews.

"You're fucking weird."

"How is that?"

"Right there, eating pizza all fancy-like."

"One does not show themselves up at a lunch date while in the company of others." So the brat actually did have manners. It was an old fashioned way of talking but rich people were always outdated like that, weren't they? Noiz picked up another piece of the divided slice and held it out. "Want some?" 

Sly certainly did not but remembering the the fall from above to down here--a place that had a location, time and meaning unknown to him--the goods he had snatched from Akushima had left him. "Whatever." He shrugged and walked to the table and leaned across, mouth open. "Aah-"

Noiz pulled the fork away and smirked. 

"Dude, what the fuck!?"

"If there is something you desire then something else of equal value must be exchanged. Fair is fair, after all." Oh god, he was one of those European, poetry-spewing bullshitters who thought they knew everything and sounded awesome. "Bite my dick." And he was also a fucking pervert.

"No way, fuck off!" Sly yelled. "Go bite your own dick!" He dared him to back up the words he thought he sounded cool and whimsical using but truthfully not even Sly was that fucked up enough to want to see a guy chew on his own--Ah...Well maybe. Depends. He was sort of a sadist but still it had to hurt like a bitch right?

"That's unlikely possible."

"Whatever!...Fucking smartass!"

"Ah, guess you don't want to get out of here then." Noiz thought he should mention, to heighten the chances of being really amused in this situation as he ate up the last separated piece of his meat feast pizza. "You can eat something from this table and leave that way but I don't feel like sharing my lunch. So biting my dick is the only way."

"Like hell it is! You're just a horny, desperate fucker."

"It's _physiological_ , now do you want to get out of here or not?"

Sly weighed his options but not for long. As annoying as this pompous-rich and arrogant brat with too much to say was, staying was not the favorable option. Like, hell, would he just be stuck here eating pizza and the other shit on the table for the rest of his life?! Okay, no...Wait, why was that a bad thing again? Oh yeah, nevermind-Sly hauled himself round the table and dropped to his knees. "Goddamn it," He mumbled while tugging at Noiz's fancy-pants belt literally holding up his fancy pants. Sly tucked a hand in to the green and black boxers just wanting to get this over with. The sooner he sucked this brat off then the faster he could leave and-

"....Problem?" Noiz asked when the handjob ceased.

"What the bloody frick frack in bunny hell is all over your junk!?" Sly had a little more than half a mind to call it quits and take a step back because no, whatever this was, whatever his fingers kept rolling over, whatever hardness other than a penis he was stimulating was not what he signed up for!

"Relax, they're my piercings."

"I can fucking see that, thanks!" Sly snapped at him, then stared at the pierced cock in his hand. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Not really."

"....Jesus, fuck."

"You gonna stare at it all day or actually put your mouth to good use and fuck off out of here?"

Sly accepted. "I'll wipe that fucking grin off your smug little bitch face soon enough, you brat."

"Do it then."

Giving a blowjob to some rich brat wasn't the means of escape Sly had in mind but fine, bring it on. It's not like he was a virgin or anything and he had done this before, minus the piercings. But so what? As long as he had a kid to school and degrade by making him become a fucking sorry mess then Sly couldn't see a downside. Thinking of returning back to where he came from, he stroked Noiz a few more times and then began to put him in his place, engulfing him with a teasing tongue in one go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"...S-Sorry!" Aoba yanked his hand out of the popcorn tub quickly as soon as he felt skin against his own. It had startled him when he was expecting to grab another handful of popcorn to snack on. What were the odds that he was going to get caught up in a cliche moment of hands meeting in a bowl!? He was thankful for the room being so dark though the brightness from the cinema screen was surely highlight his flushed cheeks. He didn't dare look up at Koujaku.

"It's fine..." Koujaku's condition was no different. He shifted in his seat a bit, the pleasure of occupying the space right next to his best friend now suffocating him a little, his breathing heavier than before and his mind hotter than when under the influence of his usual cool nerve. What happened just then...it wasn't so bad. In fact, would it be so wrong for him to want to feel Aoba's soft skin with his own? After a small discussion with himself, Koujaku cleared his stiff vocals over the battle cry of the main character in the film he was no longer interested in and stuck his hand back in to the tub, immediately reaching for Aoba's hand again. It must've seemed pathetic but regret was the last thing on Koujaku's mind. He didn't care about anything because right now he was holding Aoba's hand and he couldn't help but feel in a sweet, happy daze because wow they're holding hands, in a popcorn tub. Nothing could ever compare to the way Aoba felt--

"What are you doing?"

...Okay, that was _not_ Aoba's voice.

"Old geezer, let go of my fucking hand."

Koujaku looked to his left. He saw Aoba pushing himself back in to his chair as much as he could to get away from the tub of popcorn in his lap and deal with his burning second hand embarrassment by staring down at his hands that were in his lap. _Shit!_ '

Koujaku panicked, cold sweat forming on his forehead. He quickly pulled his hand out the tub. " _Tch_. Sorry..."

"Didn't know popcorn came with a side of sexual harassment." Noiz said.

"Fucking shut it, I don't need to hear that from you of all people!"

 

 

 

 

 

Sly stood out in the foyer, looking through the posters advertising the running films.

Maybe he could've stayed awake and endured the animation about talking Allmates going on an adventure. Then again, the real enjoyment in that was likely to be picking out sexual innuendo in innocent places. Still, it probably beats the over-hyped horror movie about an axe-wielding, revenge hungry masked man chasing a helpless family in a dark forest on a revenge rampage. So many films had that so the ending was predictable. There was also some fairy magic shit movie-Tinkerbell, most likely-under the kids choice. And across from the horror section was the adults romance and its highlighted film of the month was about some love-sick sap promising to wait forever and beyond for his soulmate from another world to return to him.

Sly reached in to his back pocket and took out the sharpie he kept in there most times for spontaneous moments like this. Uncapping its lid, he dragged it over the male actor's face in the poster, giving a long "Gaaaay" as he drew him a very hairy beard that was unsightly and a dick spurting in front of his thick lips. He laughed at the distortion up until Akushima came and got in to a frenzy over the vandalism—though Sly deemed it _art_.

Sly knew the drill and legged it back to the door cluttered hallway.

Red door, this time.

"WAIT, VAAAANDAAALIIIIIIST!" Akushima yelled, determined to apprehend him as he came closer. 

Sly exhaled a short laugh at Akushima and thought 'no chance' before bending his knees and leaping through the red door as he turned the handle and threw it open, descending down in to a peachy-red space with cherry blossoms flowing passed him and swiftly falling ahead like guides. When the space cleared he landed in one of those long boats that sailed through the rivers of Europe in-between classy buildings. The kind that moved slowly to the pace of the scene the people on board would appreciate when it meant taking in all the sights and the foreign air that brushed under their chins. The kind that—Sly gagged, realising that these were the kind of boats that were meant for intimacy.

And hell, that wasn't even the worst part!

In front at the head of the boat was a man sat crosslegged with a guitar in his lap. His hair was tied in to a ponytail that draped over his shoulder and half his face, coincidentally similar the defaced actor on the poster, covered with a  mystery that the romantic feel of this place was implying. He started to tug at the strings, lightly, an angelic sound to accompany his words. "Is it possible for one to love without loving at first sight? T'is unlikely that I can be steered away from this beauty even with all my might."

Sly wasn't just stuck in another world but on a boat with some kimono wearing, flirtatious douche-bag with a sappy drunken grin who was hitting on him with outdated overused lines. 

"Beyond heaven, beyond heaven's doors," The guy carried on, oblivious to the glare. "Among the angels, I see you soar."

Sly cast him an 'are you serious?' look.

"Roses are red and my name is Koujaku, and Violets are blue like the hair of the one I love and that's you."

"Piss off." Sly hissed in disgust. Being hit on was one thing and being hit on with a guitar for a wing man was another but there was no way he was going to be hit on so poorly, jesus it was unbearable. 

An uneven twang scratched their ears as Koujaku's finger slipped from the correct string, the curse startling him. What a pansy, Sly thought when he noticed. He must really be old fashion then if one of the weak curses made it look like he had been slapped in the face. He cleared his throat and when he was calm with his mind on the right track, began to strum again. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine—"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Koujaku flinched again, face twisting in to horror. "U-Uh..." He murmured and gave his plan to sweep Sly off his feet some though. Singing usually worked on the women he attracted but if that wasn't the way this time then perhaps...ah, poetry? "This bud of love by summer's ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet." The ladies always loved it when he compared them to a flower.

Sly eye-rolled and turned away. "Screw that flower because by my breath I sure as hell ain't meeting you again!" Where was the exit?! That's what Sly wanted to know. The boat rocked as he leaned over and looked in to the depths of the water for a sign of escape. He saw nothing but felt something calling him, trying to draw him in to a vision he had to feel rather than see. Whatever, at this point he was too desperate to get away from romeo to be picky.

"W-Wait!" Koujaku abandoned his guitar and reached out for Sly just as he jumped from the boat and dived in to the water with a splash. "Your name! Please, I must know the name I will strum a billion songs about and carve in every tree under the glow of spring!"

Sly came up for air with a gasp and leaned on the edge of the boat. "You want to know my name?" He asked, skeptical.

Koujaku nodded.

"Really? You _sure_?"

Koujaku nodded again, too smitten to notice the mischievous change of tone. "Very much so, please."

Sly didn't cover his happy smirk. Not even when he ducked his head and swam deep in to the water, still able to hear Koujaku as he began to strum another song and string recitals together, coating his tongue in repetition of the name "Noiz."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ooooi. What's all this commotion?" A blond man sounding too laid-back to be an usher shone a torch at the four of them. The people in front complained that he was blocking their view of the screen but he paid no attention. "You guys having your own party or something?"

The other blond man standing beside him hitched up his specs. "We're getting complaints about a noisy party. Aren't we, Trip?"

"Exactly, Virus. And 'cause we're movie ushers, it's our job to throw noisy people out."

"Indeed. A job is a job." Virus scanned aisle of four expectantly, waiting for either Aoba—who was shamefully trying to lean far enough away from his friends to look like he wasn't involved, Clear—who was upset that the climax of the film was being blocked from his view, and Noiz and Koujaku—reaching across the other two to beat the shit out of each other. "Who will take responsibility for this ruckus?"

None spoke. 

Virus shone his light on Aoba to volunteer him. "Ah, excuse me, you there."

Aoba jumped out of his seat looking nervous. "W-We....we're sorry about all this! Can't you just let us off? I came here with my friends because we all really wanted to see this movie for a while and I made sure to pick the best seats in the house."

"The _best seats in the house_  you say? Oh, let's see about that."

"Eh?..." Aoba was dumbfounded about the meaning of that. Then the usher lifted him up all of a sudden. "W-Wait a minute, hold on—don't touch me there! Oi!"

"Ah, I see what you mean." Virus sighed with content as he sat down with Aoba frustratingly squirming about in his lap for freedom. Ushers were of course not permitted to treat the audience like this but this person in particular had told him something valuable to know about the place they worked. He noticed the closeness of Aoba's face and smiled more. "This really is the best seat in the house. Don't you think, Trip?"

"Yeah, definitely." Trip had switched with Virus and Aoba was now in his lap, but with his ass near his face instead after being settled down weirdly. Knowing this, Aoba blushed and tried to get away even more. This was too embarrassing to live through, jeez! "You can see everything from here."

"O-Oi!" Aoba cried when he felt Trip patting his ass in appraisal. "Quit messing around! I said let go of me!"

"We're willing to negotiate." Virus said when he could hear the audience around them raise the volume of their protests, some even beginning to throw empty soda cartons and popcorn at them. He dodged them all and pushed up his glasses again—an action that added to the shadiness coming from him. "We're pretty keen on seeing this movie too. If you would like to watch it with us then we'll think about turning a blind eye to you and your friends' misbehaviour tonight."

Were they serious!? Would Aoba even want to hang around these guys after they—well one of them was still molesting him and honest to god Aoba could feel a finger about to slide in to _something_! "N-No way in hell!"

"Is that your final answer?"

"It fucking is, yes!"

Virus was disappointed to say the least. He usually negotiated really well, though of course in turn his clients were easy to manipulate. Trip obviously felt the same way and when they looked at each other, they glanced back at Aoba and his friends and made their decision together, shouting it in sync.

 "Security!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
"THERE IS NOOOOOWHEEEEERE FOR YOU TO HIDE! GET READY BECAUSE IIIIII. AAAAAM. COMING FOR YOU, PUUUUUUUUNK!"

Sly cursed at his carelessness this time with exiting the red door. One strand of his hair was all it had taken for Akushima to go off on one again and chase him throughout the large foyer with a big bodyguard. Sly had the stamina to give them both the run around for a while. His movie must have ended by now though so there wasn't much reach to stay. So when the bodyguard--namepin reading 'Mink'--snuck up and held his arms in a lock from behind, there wasn't much of a fight.

"Any last words?" Akushima asked, a victory grin looking down on the caught delinquent.

Sly almost regretted willingly giving up, wanting to sock that grin right off that face. Instead, he drunk in what he could of his last moments of being Akushima's no.1 priority; the unhealthy obsession he couldn't leave. "Yeah. I tipped you too much earlier."

"....youlittleshit-isgchqasff--!" Akushima became a mumbling mess of fury. Red faced at the hated memory of that monopoly note, he violently motioned for Mink to show his lest favourite customer the way out. "OUT WITH THIS PUUUUUUUUUNK!"

Sly was literally thrown out of the cinema complex, landing on his ass with his arms back and palm steadying him to avoid kissing the floor that was now wet from the raining coming down hard. He would get Akushima for that next time. It always was fun messing with him. And the bitch could scream loud, fuck. Sly stood up fixed his jacket to bring the sides over more to cover his body and pull the hood over his head. In the distance, though quite dark and the rain mighty furious to hear over, the fluffy dog from earlier was trotting its way over.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Sly said, exhausted by the return of the mangy mutt. It stopped at his feet, tongue hanging out like before and the way he looked up at him...like he knew him as his owner. "You still here?"

The dog's tail wagged. "Woof!"

Oh not this shit again.

"Woof!"

"What, dog!?"

"Woof! Woof! _Aoba_ , Woof!"

"...Ugh." It didn't look as though the dog was going to give the barking a rest. Or give up this 'Aoba' shit. And chances are that if left behind then it would only follow after him, paws leaving a wet trail. The dog barked again and Sly gave in. "I get it, stupid mutt." He said, picking the creature up and holding it in his arms. He pulled his jacket over more to shelter its too fluffy fur from the rain. "Come on, let's get the fuck out of here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Black Needle bar's bell jingling above the door and its bartender turned around to greet the customers with a welcoming smile. "Hey, you guys! So how was the movie?" Mizuki asked. Bless his heart. He hadn't been able to tag along with the group date and could only ask about it now and seemed unable to notice the gloomy aura that was following them, Aoba mainly.

Aoba took his frown to the bar and sat in one of the stools, hunched over the counter. "I wouldn't know. I didn't get to see it all thanks to Noiz and Koujaku." He whined, and Mizuki quickly got to work on making him a drink, free of charge because of the sympathy from a friend discount.

Noiz didn't agree and clicked his tongue when the blame was partly put on him. "All I wanted was popcorn. I can't help it if the old geezer is a pervert."

Koujaku glared. "That's not how it happened. Who would be interested in a rude brat like you!?"

" _You_ apparently, since you groped me."

"Look, Aoba-san!" Clear excitedly tugged on Aoba's sleeve and shoved leftover liqurocie in his face. "I saved you the blue ones!"

"No, thanks." Aoba began to rub at his temples to calm the migraine he could feel coming, like a storm.

"Eh? Aww, why not? Come on, they match your hair!"

"Idiot! What does that even matter!?"

Mizuki laughed at the group. "Seems like you had fun."

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
The last place Sly hauled himself over to before going home and facing a pissed off grandmother was the one place he could count on to help him deal with whatever shitty day he was having. The Black Needle's bell rattled as he kicked his way through in to the bar, stalking over to the counter and sitting in one of the stools. "Can I get the—"

"The usual." the bartender smiled, knowingly. "Coming right up, Sly."

"Sound." Sly nodded in thanks. Nothing would end this exhausting night better than a nice drink.

The bell rattled again and in came a pretty, dark haired... _boy_? Sly was guessing, judging from the adam's apple he could just about see. "Hey. My-" He began to request his order as he took a seat next to Sly.

"Usual. _I know_ , Sei." The bartender knew his frequent customers' main drinks by now but something told Sly that he paid attention to this customer in particular. They were fucking, they had to be. Or one of them wished they were anyway, looking at the way this Sei person was shy under the bartender's gaze that lasted longer than necessary.

"Rough night?" The bartender asked as he set down the first order.

"Totally." Sly took it and gulped it down in one go. It returned to the counter table with a bang and he demanded, "Another."

"You sure?"

"Get to it already, jeez."

The bartender shook his head but complied, knowing he didn't mean any harm and just really wanted something to wash the last remaining hours of his terrible night down with. Before that though, he did believe the prettier customer had also asked for their usual. The bartender served him next with a skillful hand and they both watched the alcohol-filled glass smoothly glide over to Sei and stop in time. He thanked him

Sei smiled. "Thanks-w-wha!?" He later gasped when the space in his cupped hand didn't get filled by the cup.

Sly was gulping the drink down in one go again, shameless about his theft.

"H-Hey! That was my drink!"

"You snooze you lose." Sly said, shrugging without a care. "First come, first serve."

"But you already got served!"

"I'll serve your ass if you don't settle down, Princess."

"But-!" Sei couldn't believe this. He didn't take on a longer shift today at work and place all of his hopes to have a relaxing evening on drinking his usual just for someone else to drink it instead, without his permission. The nerve of some people, honestly! "I waited all day to get to enjoy a nice drink! I was always waiting...!"

"Then you can keep waiting." 

Drinking all that alcohol he did that night was probably not the best choice Sly could've made to help tone down the confused slurs about tonight's events, with the doors and the places and those people he got tangled up.

Nothing made sense, it was all bullshit.

Just maybe, the next drink was going to hit the spot and help him forget.

* * *

  **OMAKE!**

 

"Mmmm, yummy!" Clear hummed in delight and held his face as a smiled smeared with frosting stretching across his face. "Everything is delicious!"

"Right?" Noiz agreed, picking up a stick of Takoyaki and taking a bite. He didn't usually converse with people, let alone strangers. But as long as this stranger could keep his oversized jellyfish under control and not make a mess then his stay wasn't a nuisance. The other guest however refused to take a seat and join in the feast, too busy carving in to the tree that had its own spotlight reigning over it. "Oi, what are you carving over there?"

Koujaku turned and met Noiz's curious eyes over his shoulder. "Ah, it's the name of the one I love."

"Who's that?"

"Noiz."

Silence.

Noiz's face scrunched up. Was this a bad joke? "My name is Noiz."

"Eh?..." Had Koujaku had common sense then he wouldn't have thought Noiz was Sly Blue in disguise or that a green eyed, blond heir was his true identity. Still, who was he to question the boundaries and laws of love? The heart inside of him would beat for whoever it fell for and he simply played songs and recited poetry. And that's just what he would have to do right now! His guitar appeared out of nowhere and immediately he began to softly serenade, "Roses are red and I am who goes by the name of Koujaku. And Violets are blue like the hair--"

But Noiz's hair wasn't blue.

"Uuuh...A-Aha!" Koujaku panicked and went along with the first comparison that came to mind. "And Violets are blue but your hair is like a silky vanilla--a-aah! Wait, what's the meaning of—!" The strumming and horrible serenading turned mute as his guitar was snatched away and came down hard on him, knocking him out cold with blood dripping from his nose.

Noiz sighed and thew away the bloodied instrument and returned to his seat at the table like nothing had happened. 

One did not simply disturb a lunch party by making a fool of themselves while in the company of others.

**Author's Note:**

> 'out with this punk' yes that was an akushima red queen slur there. At first this was just going to be some crack oneshot but then it became an inspired remnant of alice in wonderland and paprika and maybe a little bit of inception.
> 
> I'm always thinking about Clear riding on a giant jellyfish. He so totally needs it, he'd love it. WE would all love it. omg but what if Perri was actually a human/robot girl then awww 'Clearri' or 'Pear' haha whatever. Maybe she'll be my oc if I ever write him having a girlfriend because I totally think that if he wasn't gay for Aoba then he would have such a nice girlfriend and he would totally dote on her hand and foot and treat her like a queen.
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading!


End file.
